Date Night!

We had our first date night since bringing Katie home, and it was nice. We've been practicing with her to teach her that when we leave, we always return, and she's been doing really well with that. About 10 days ago, we went to our first MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting, and she was in a room with about 10 other kids and 2 adults. She cried when I left (as I knew she would), but it only lasted a few minutes and then she did great the rest of the time. Last Wednesday, Steve's parents came over and watched the kids while we took a walk around the neighborhood with our cell phone. She did very well, and the weather was absolutely gorgeous for our walk! Then, on Saturday night, we went to Starlight Theater to see Les Miserables. For those of you who don't know, Starlight is an outdoor theater, which plays 5 Broadway shows and countless concerts each summer. We've had season tickets for the Broadway shows for about 10 years, and we love going there. We missed Fiddler on the Roof in August, because we were in Russia, and we were hoping to get to see Les Mis. Well, Katie did great! She didn't have any tears, and went to bed just fine with Grandma and Grandpa, and Steve and I thoroughly enjoyed Les Mis. The only bad part was the weather. It rained the entire show. Starlight doesn't cancel for rain, so we were all outfitted in our ponchos and ball caps. There are very few shows for which I will sit in the rain for 3 hours, and Les Mis is one of them. It was nice having a date night again, and nicer still that Katie did so well.

Today, we had kind of a "date afternoon" as we went to the Chiefs game. My mom kept the kids at her house, and once again, Katie did great. My dad, Steve, and I went to the game, which was less than memorable. Neither the Raiders nor the Chiefs are very good this year, and we lost 23-8. The most exciting part for me was the singing of the national anthem, which was done by David Cook (this year's American Idol winner) and his brother, Andrew. It was a beautiful rendition, and their voices just soared. I'm also a sucker for a good male singing voice. The most exciting part for Steve was waiting for my dad and me to return with the brats and cokes!

Russglish

Well, Katie is keeping us on our toes. Since she was speaking all sorts of Russian, we learned what many of her phrases meant. There were still some that we couldn't figure out, but we did the best we could. Now, she's sprinkling in some English words just to keep us off balance. At first I was puzzled at the new phrases and words I was hearing and was at a loss as to their meaning when I realized that she was speaking English! So now when she speaks we have to first decipher if it's Russian or English, and then determine her meaning. Even though she is speaking some English, she doesn't always pronounce the words correctly, thus adding to the confusion. We're muddling our way through, though, and enjoying this once-in-a-lifetime adventure!

Her sleeping is coming along nicely. Now she's just mad about having to go to bed instead of being sad or scared. Her naps are sporadic - some days she sleeps, and others she just lays there singing to herself. However, she's sleeping about 10-11 hours at night! She's often fussy during the day, which may indicate sleepiness, but really it's because she doesn't like to be told "no." Steve and I actually chuckle to ourselves sometimes at her drama, because she's usually not even in trouble. She'll ask for something (my shoes, my cell phone, Alex's Leapster, etc.), I'll tell her "no" or "not now," and she'll either sulk, cry, scream, or throw herself on the floor in a tantrum. You see, in the orphanages, everything was community property. If she saw it, she could have it (as could any of the children). She doesn't understand yet that some things belong to certain people. She'll get there, of course, but it will take some time.

We are having a come-and-go party this Saturday the 13th from 3:00-5:00 so that anyone who wants to meet Katie can. If you are in the KC area and did not get my email invitation, then I either don't have your email address or it was an oversight. We would love to see you on Saturday!

Where Do I Fit In?

Katie got her first haircut with Auntie J about 10 days ago so now it's much more even than before. Katie did great, and just sat there as still as a statue until she was finished. Auntie J even styled it for her and Katie loved that!
Katie and Derek are getting along very well. Whenever Derek asks where Katie is, she is pretty good about responding (when prompted). One night, Steve was reading a bedtime story to all the kids, and Katie stood up, walked over to Derek, and sat in his lap. The amazing part is that Derek actually let her stay and didn't push her off! He generally doesn't like to have people in his "space," but he made an exception for Katie.
Alex and Katie are getting along more like a typical brother and sister do. Katie pretty much loves Alex all the time, but Alex is sometimes bothered by his little sister. Some days he loves playing with her, other days he wants to be alone, and still other days he is somewhat mean to her. He is learning to adjust to our new family dynamic as much as the rest of us are. We've had some good talks with him, and he's been open and honest with us. We told him how much Derek struggled when we brought Alex home almost 3 1/2 years ago, but now they are wonderful brothers and friends. I think that helped Alex. Alex was a little more emotional and clingy for awhile, but he seems to be doing better in the last few days. We are also trying to make sure that we don't expect too much from him. He's still 6, and we are trying to make sure that we don't suddenly ask him to become an assistant parent. Also, there are many things that Alex can do independently that neither Derek nor Katie can do due to age and development. Therefore, Derek and Katie naturally get attention as we help them with these tasks. We are making a concerted effort to give Alex just as much attention, if not more so, and that seems to be working as well. All this being said, I wouldn't even say that Alex is struggling. It's probably more accurate to say that he is just trying to figure out our new family dynamic, and we are so proud of him.

Weekend at the Lake

We went to Table Rock Lake for Labor Day Weekend, and all the kids had a wonderful time. We went with my parents and my brother and his family. Katie got her first taste at swimming / floating in the lake, and once she got over her initial trepidation, she enjoyed it for short periods of time. Here she is with 2 of her cousins, Maddy and Drew.
Derek knows how to go boating in style. All he needs is a fruity drink with an umbrella in it!!
Grandaddy, Alex, and Drew enjoying an evening boat ride with Uncle Andy at the helm.
Katie really took to the boat, and didn't seem to be afraid at all. In fact, on Monday morning before we left to come home, we took one last boat ride, and she fell asleep lying down in the front of the boat. She stayed asleep despite all the crashing we did on the waves.
Katie, Alex, Maddy, Drew, and Derek. What a great group of cousins who love each other very much.
Katie even rode the innertube with me (twice!), but I didn't have my camera with me that time. She was really a trooper and hung in there even when we went airborne a couple of times. After one pretty big set of waves she let us know that she had had enough, though.

The kids always have such a great time when we go to the lake, and they even got to play with some neighbor kids on Monday morning. The neighbor boy and Alex are "lake best friends," and the big sister was like a mom to Katie, carrying her everywhere. The fact that Katie was okay being without Steve or me for awhile was a big step for her. She also went on a golf cart ride with Grandaddy - without Steve or me. These are big steps for her.

Last week on Monday I left the house for an errand, leaving the kids with Steve. The fit and tantrum that Katie pitched was worse than anything I had ever seen from any child anywhere! Katie had been fine when Steve had left, but she clearly was not fine with me leaving. I paused at the door, wondering if I should leave when Steve looked at me (holding a kicking and screaming child) and said, "Just Go!" We wanted her to learn that it's okay for mom to leave, because mom will return. She calmed down after awhile and was fine the rest of the time I was gone, so the next 3 evenings I left for an errand. On Tuesday she cried (but no fit), on Wednesday she was sad (but no tears), and on Thursday she blew me kisses, waved, and said, "Bye-bye." Whew. We haven't tried both of us leaving yet. At the lake it was different because she was the one walking out the door - not us. Each day we are building more trust, a stronger bond, and a greater attachment. She is doing great!

We're Adjusting

All I can say is I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write another post. Last week was a blur as we recovered from jet lag, helped Katie with her sleeping, got the boys off to school every day, and slept whenever we could (which is why I haven't written for so long).

Things are slowly getting into a nice routine, and we are feeling much better. Katie didn't eat much the first few days we were home, but starting last Wednesday, she's been eating much better. Some meals, I'm shocked that she can eat so much. Isn't your stomach about the size of your fist? You may remember that her sleeping was a bit off, and it got worse before it got better. Wednesday and Thursday nights were really tough with at least 30 minutes of screaming each night at bedtime with more crying and/or screaming during the night. We felt bad for the boys, but they said they never heard her (thank God for small favors). She would be this sweet little angel all day, and then the minute we would walk into her room to put on her pajamas, the screaming would start. Then Friday night, Steve got her to bed relatively calmly, and at 9:45 she started screaming, fussing, crying, etc. and writhing in the bed as though she were in pain. Nothing we said had any affect on her, and then we noticed something. Her eyes were shut the entire time. She was having night terrors! We were certain of it, and that explained so much. Because of the night terrors she was afraid to go to sleep, and that's why she would scream at bedtime; she knew what was going to happen. It reminded me of that movie, "Nightmare on Elm Street."

While it was nice knowing why she was having trouble, it didn't provide any solutions. The only solution I know for night terrors is time, and it was breaking my heart to see her so miserable. Part of me felt just horrible because she never had night terrors while we were in Russia; they didn't happen until we got to America. I wondered if we caused this. Is this change just too much for her? Alex had night terrors just 2 times - once each of his first 2 nights in America, and they weren't bad at all. Katie, though, was struggling. However, the rest of Friday night, she slept pretty well. She made a few noises during the night, and she got up once, but it was much better than the previous 2 nights. Steve was developing a nice bedtime routine with her so we have continued with that, and Saturday night and last night she went to bed calmly and stayed asleep all night. She's not at all happy about going to bed, but she's doing better.

Soooo, Katie is sleeping better, we're sleeping better, and I'm finally over the jet lag. Steve went back to work today, and the boys are in school, so Katie and I have begun running the errands and working on the To-Do list that has built up over the last 3 weeks. I was hoping to be caught up with life by the end of last week, but my new goal is in 2 weeks since we're going out of town Labor Day weekend.

As summer winds down to a close, I hope all of you had a good one. My summer was wonderful in that we have our daughter, but on the other hand, I don't feel as though I really had a summer. I'm looking forward to a delightful fall!

Home Sweet Home!

Well, we made it! It was an 11-hour flight to Atlanta, a 4-hour layover, a 2-hour flight to Kansas City, and a 9-hour time difference. When our plane landed, we had been up for 24 hours.
Katie slept 1 hour on our flight to Atlanta. She really handled the flight very well, all things considered, but after the battery died in the DVD player and Cinderella went bye-bye, she was not as amicable as before.
We tried to get her to lie down and sleep some more later in the flight, but she was so tired that she started refusing very loudly. Not wanting to be pushed out of the emergency exit by a disgruntled passenger, we relented. However, as the plane was descending and we all had our seatbelts on, she decided that she was too exhausted to sit up and started crying (very loudly) because she couldn't lay down. Therefore, Steve broke all FAA rules and held her as we touched down in Atlanta. Here is the moment that Katie became a U.S. citizen.
She perked up in Atlanta, and was enthralled with my cell phone as we passed the time. I didn't have it on at all in Moscow because it won't work there, so the first time she saw it was when I pulled it out to call our parents. We boarded our plane to KC, and Katie fell asleep before the rest of the passengers finished boarding. She slept the whole 2 1/2 hours except for a 30-minute stretch in the middle when she was very fussy trying to get comfortable again. She was plum tuckered out!
We arrived at the KC airport to find our parents just beaming away at their first sight of Katie. Katie was more than a little bit grumpy and had nothing to do with any of them. We went straight to bed as soon as we got home, and we all slept pretty well that first night. The boys were still at my parents' house, Katie was in her bed, Steve was in our bed, and I was on an air mattress on Katie's floor. She woke up at 3:30 crying, but after I calmed her down, she went back to sleep until 9:00.

Yesterday, she woke up and met the cat first. Then we went to my parents' house to get Alex (Derek had gone to school that morning.). After her nap, Derek got off the bus, and then we brought the dog home last. She has done well with each introduction, and she absolutely LOVES playing with Alex. Alex loves playing with her, too, but he won't admit it. She's still trying to figure out Derek, and Derek LOVES to hear Katie talk.

Last night, we all slept in the same places except the boys were now home, and they were in their beds. Katie woke up at 2:00, but wasn't crying. She just woke me, I sat up, and she laid down in my bed on my pillow. I simply put her back in bed, and she went back to sleep. This morning we sent both boys to school, and Katie had her pediatrician appointment. The doctor is very pleased with her development, so now we are just trying to get more medical information from Russia. We had asked for certain information, but we didn't get it (or it wasn't translated), so we're trying to fix that. She also got a stuffy nose starting Sunday night, so we suspect that she may have allergies. We're starting her on medicine, and we'll see how she responds.

Katie is really adjusting beautifully into our family, and the boys are doing a great job with her as well. The only issue right now is getting her to bed. In Moscow, she went to bed very well the first few days, and then it became increasingly more difficult. She has moved gradually from walking calmly to bed and climbing in, to sulking, to whimpering, to silent tears, to choked sobs, to crying, to screaming. Since the screaming didn't start until we got home with Alex, we think she just doesn't want to stop playing with him. We think the build up prior to that is for another reason. We have read that sometimes when children from orphanages get adopted, they are afraid to go to sleep because they are afraid that when they wake up their new mom and dad will be gone. This makes alot of sense with her because as we have spent more and more time together, her bond with us is greater, she has more invested, and she has more to lose if we are gone. Now obviously we are not going anywhere, and we are confident that she will come to realize that eventually. It will just take some time. She doesn't cry for long because she falls asleep so quickly, and we don't have the same problem if she wakes up during the night.

Alex and Katie before Alex started his first day of Kindergarten (Derek was already at school). For 2 kids with no commom genes, don't they look alot alike?

Alex, Katie, and Derek

Our Final Post From Moscow!!

Since we first saw Katie in May and we accepted her, the orphanage has let her hair grow. I'm kind of glad they did, because it no longer has a boy look to it. However, it was also in her eyes terribly, which is why I always put it in pigtails. Last night, I couldn't wait any longer, and I went ahead and cut her bangs -- with my cross stitch scissors. Needless to say, that was probably the worst haircut that she will ever receive, but it did the job, and her hair is no longer in her eyes. Katie also likes it alot better, and this morning she wanted her hair pulled back in barrettes instead of in pigtails. It's amazing to us how different she looks with a simple hair change!

This morning we took Katie to a park that we visited earlier this week. The weather was just perfect -- cool with a slight breeze. Katie started off on the swings (her favorite), and then while walking around became very interested in some kids playing in the sandbox. She just stood there for the longest time watching them.

After they left, we went in to play, and she was so dainty using the shovels to clean off the seats.
She wasn't too sure about the seesaw at first, but then she figured out that it is fun!
The pigeons were a constant source of amusement for her, and she kept trying to catch them. After awhile, she started getting irritated with the birds for not allowing her to catch them. How dare they! :-)

This evening, we walked over to a pizzeria called Pinocchio's to eat out. We found this place when we were here with Alex, and we ate there with him on our last night in Moscow. We thought it would be appropriate to eat there again with Katie on our last night in Moscow. It was a nice walk across the bridge over the Moscow River, and the food was good, as always.

Steve thought of something earlier this week. Derek was born in Kansas, so he is a Midwestern boy through and through. Alex and Katie both became (will become) citizens as soon as the plane lands in the U.S., which for Alex was New York, and for Katie it will be Atlanta. Therefore, we have a Midwesterner, a New York Yankee, and a Southern Belle all mixed together in our family!

Steve is packing up our things as I type this, and we are excited to be coming home and seeing our boys. At 9 days, this has been our longest trip away from them yet, and we are so ready to go home and be a family.

Joe and June, thanks for the comments. I hope you had a great time watching Fiddler at Starlight with Gena and Paxton!